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Thursday, 4 October 2018

Live and Let Lie - a James Bondage adventure




"Tread carefully, WurzelBurger; these plastic-hating bastards are everywhere"

It was a dark night in Moscow. Wurzelburger rolled another cigarette in her withered hands and stuck it behind her remaining ear, for later.


Adjusting her bifocals, she lifted the army surplus binoculars and resumed her surveillance.

In a building opposite, a secret cabal were meeting
The Madeleine And Destruction oF Unnecessary Crap Environmental Rescue Society  - MADFUCERS - were devoted to finding out what happened to Madeleine McCann, whilst simultaneously ridding the oceans of deadly plastics. Dangerous bastards.

"So, we're all set" said Agent 00NT scanning the eager faces in the room. 

"Agent 00Bunny - you distract the target with an interesting anecdote about a big table, and as soon as she starts to draw a diagram, Agent 00Sade will sneak in and rifle through her handbag for her M&S Sparks card"

"How many guards is she likely to have?" asked 00Bunny, his flinty eyes scanning the plans, hastily drawn on the back of a colouring book.

"Just one" replied 00NT, "But be careful - it's The Spade"

A collective groan rose from the assembled agents.

"You leave Fkin Carla to me" said 00Lesly, as she skilfully hammered 6 inch nails into a baseball bat.

"So we all know what we're doing? Agents 00Jules and 00JBL, you're taking point on this. Good luck, agents. The future of Operation Grange and the safety of a large number of Sperm whales depends on your success. God Speed"

"Er, boss?" said 00Bunny "What about old Wurzelburger across the road there. Are you going to tell her we can all see her? I mean the daft tart is standing under a streetlamp, ffs"

"You leave Wurzelburger to me..." said 00NT,  an evil grin splitting his handsome features.

"Agents - disassemble!"




14 comments:

  1. ..-. ..- -.-. -.- | --- ..-. ..-.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice one, NT :)

    Just to let you know, I left a post on Textusa to say that I saw your post about the Plastic pollution documentary before it was screened - she was claiming that you wrote it later and altered the time. I know this is false as I didn't know about the programme until I read your post, then went to watch it.

    Textusa hasn't published my post, probably because it would show what a liar she is. I know she must have read it because she has published other posts since

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay, thanks for letting me know. I'm not surprised she didn't publish it, tbh - she's completely dishonest

      Delete
    2. Lol, as if that reply proves anything! :D

      Suddenly turning up anonymously in response to Textusa's top class exposé of NT's obvious bullshit, why didn't you make a comment on the post when it was published?

      The comment was probably written by NT anyway, you fuckwits.

      Delete
    3. Oh do piss off, dear; you really are the most credulous dimwit I have ever encountered. And trust me, that's up against some serious competition.

      Delete
  3. Mission Possible is being erected to send in Agents Michael Marks & Thomas Spencer to whoosh unpublished comments and stolen tweets..

    Awaiting for a code yellow..

    Lob & Ster are on standby..

    Do you copy...
    10-1 ..

    Over & out...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Boss...someone's nicked the Mustang. Special request to use the Maserati.
    Or the Spyder.
    ^_(('//

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Permission granted - but don't bring it back with a scratch on it. And no smoking in the car. :)

      Delete
  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  6. lamron ot trever - ecnedive ni idiot

    Pi.G. Strotter

    ReplyDelete

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