Wednesday, 18 April 2018

Throwing in the towel

After many years of talking complete bollocks, Textusa finally retires to spend more time with her psychiatrist

Well folks, having been thoroughly battered in recent weeks it was bound to happen sooner or later. Having handed the baton to one of her seconds this week, probably too wounded by the utter devastation of being kicked out of her Facebook group to continue, Textusa finally realises that one cannot fool all the people, all the time. With her credibility lying tattered around her ankles, like a motheaten pair of drawers, she has succumbed to a lethal dose of "Blogger Fatigue"

So, the kindest thing to do would be to leave it here, draw a discreet veil over her mangled corpse and let the ravages of time take their course.

But we don't want to do that........

  1. Sometimes things happen when does not expect them to and this is one of them: we are stopping writing.
Oh really? 

  1. The decision caught us by surprise as much, we hope, will catch our readers.
Ha ha! You mean Maria decided and she's the boss. We understand 

  1. We were not expecting to stop, we were writing a post about whether Pamela Fenn’s apartment was the one it’s stated in the files – the one directly above 5A – or if it was the one 2 floors up. It’s a post we will write and keep to ourselves.
  1. But not keeping secrets from anyone, one only has to read Carol Tranmer-Fenn’s rogatory, it’s all there.
Because it makes all the difference 

  1. Then, we were going to follow it with a post about the Big Round Table.
You have been spared, people 
  1. Instead we have done only a Post-Scriptum, a second one, on it on the current post. We recommend readers scroll up because it’s worth a look.
In fairness, it is hysterical; a perfect blend of lunacy, self-aggrandisement and completely unconscious and unintentional hilarity. 

  1. Unexpectedly, the current post has superseded our most ambitious expectations. Added to its content – the absurdity of the fictional tennis conversation between Gerry and David – there were the comments, both published and unpublished, both from friends and foes. All together it is basically all we wanted to have summarised in a single post.
You have been repeatedly tested and found wanting, and god knows how many posts you have binned 

  1. To publish a new post, would be to see bury the perfect note on which we feel we should stop.
I suppose it was a perfect note. Never have you sounded more panicked or desperate and never has it been more obvious that Maria has bailed out and left the two of you with the rotting corpse. 
  1. The only reason.
Oh behave 
  1. We know that the readers who have come to trust our decisions will fully understand.
Any reader who trusts your decisions needs to give a power of attorney to a close relative, for their own safety 

  1. It’s been 9 and a half years, almost 700 posts.
Each one filled to the brim with top-quality conspiralunacy 
  1. We believe that we have influenced, especially in the last years, the flux of events of the case – like our latest achievement of stopping short the paedo-offensive – makes us feel proud of the work done.
Seriously, do you actually BELIEVE that? A decade of being the laughing stock of McCannland, taken seriously only by a handful of certified loons and with theories so deranged that even Bandicoot Bennett takes the piss out of you? You have achieved nothing, ladies.  

  1. A crime where so many good people have turned bad. To them we recommend revisiting the Biblical story of the prodigal son. In it, when the son leaves he doesn’t think he’s doing wrong. He’s wrong but he’s convinced that he’s right. When he realises that he was wrong he asks for forgiveness and the father forgives him. What the son didn’t do was to leave knowing he was wrong and expecting forgiveness in advance if and when things went wrong. We don’t think any religion works on credit sinning, where one knows one is sinning but expecting later on for the slate to be cleaned just because they ask.

  1. When one has seen Mr Amaral put against a wall and shot by bullets that one supplied, one cannot then cry that those who pulled the trigger are animals.
Mr Amaral wasn't remotely damaged by you, mainly because you're a lunatic and of absolutely no importance 
  1. Playing Florence Nightingale to the wounded we helped wound is simply being a hypocrite.
Oh do behave! 

  1. The time of his life he lost, the profession he had to abandon and all other consequences the man had to go through in the hardship one helped to put him in, will be in one’s conscience.
Seriously, this is even more deranged than usual, which I suppose is fitting for your swansong. Darlings, one thing you will notice is missing from any court transcript is mention of you, your barmy theories, or any indication that Mr Amaral ever nursed a Textusa-inflicted wound. (Unless he hurt himself laughing; I know we did) 

  1. After being exposed – more or less publicly and these last some know and some don’t – seeing the minions of the other side angry, deflated and even inactive means that we are spot on.
Answers on a postcard please..... 

  1. The tangled web is indeed complex but possible to decode. To those questioning whether they have been spotted, it’s most likely they have. It would surprise many how many people are not who they seem to be. So we’re evidently not talking about the evident ones.
Ah, as you were. It's just more paranoia about who's who and me supposedly being Walker thingy. 

  1. As we said to DE F, if the cap fits, wear it, if it doesn’t then don’t.
I don't think that's what you said, actually 
  1. If you want to put a cap on our head, please go ahead, we know exactly what fits and what doesn’t.
Whatever, it'll have electrodes coming out of it 

  1. (Cont.)
  2. (Cont.)

    And talking about minions, it has given us great pleasure to see Insane recently resume his Walkercan1000 twitter account to tweet in support of Wetherspoon.
And here we are again.

You know, if some day you ever do discover who he is, I will be laughing my arse off when you realise you were wrong all along 
  1. If we didn’t know better, we would even think that he was trying to distance himself from another twitter account whose holder is a fierce pro-Remain supporter, in an attempt to convince people that they are not one and the same.
Sorry, can't help on this one. God knows who she's stalking now 

  1. The fact that we stop writing doesn’t mean we are leaving or quitting.
Oh, shame 
  1. We’re simply stop publishing posts.
Well, at least that's something 

  1. We will watch until October to see what Theresa May decides on the case and if she doesn’t decide by then, let it be clear that we continue to support the payment of the wages of the officers allocated to Operation Grange until whoever is in power will politically decide the outcome, which we truly hope will be in favour of truth.
That's good of you. However, it's not your taxes that are paying for it, so kindly fuck off 

  1. As Blogger has a limitation of 200 comments per comment pages, if and when required, we will do what we have done on previous occasions and that will be to publish “Post for comments” which will have no content.
Pretty much like your regular posts 

  1. That means we will continue to accept and publish comments and do that ourselves.
You'll be back, dear. You won't be able to help yourselves 


  1. How can one person and a couple of sidekicks get it all so completely wrong?

    1. I think it really comes down to no-one saying to her “Excuse me, this is completely crazy”
      Well, I have, obviously, but until recently she was given the “Oh Textusa, you’re so wonderfully clever” treatment by many sites, so she fell into believing her own publicity

    2. “How can one person and a couple of sidekicks get it all so completely wrong?”

      Yes, that’s the mystery of Textusa’s genius...


  2. "After many years of talking complete bollocks, Textusa finally retires to spend more time with her psychiatrist."


    Holy Moses, give us pork!

    I very much hope the psychiatrist will survive!


    1. There’s a Nobel prize in it for him if he does


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