Tuesday, 22 December 2015

The Annual Nottextusa Awards for Outstanding Fuckwittery

Afternoon all.

Well, the end of the year draws near and it would be remiss of me to allow 2015 to slip into the ether without acknowledging some fine, noteworthy fuckwittery, gobshittedness or foilhattery in the field during these last 12 months.

So I can exclusively announce that the categories are as follows:

Biggest Troll

Most Feeble Comeback

Best Performance by a Supporting Sock

Most Obvious Sock

Most Cringeworthy Moment

The "More Tinfoil, Matron" award for Spectacular Conspiralunacy

The Best Use of Knowledge Gained from Wikipedia

The Most Outrageous Fibber

The Pedro McSporran Memorial award - a special award in the gift of the academy, for spectacular fuckwittery above and beyond the call of duty

The Antony Bennett Memorial Gobshite of the Year award

.....the evening rounds off with the most sought after award of all

The Twat of the Year, 2015

Competition is, naturally, fierce, but it's not too late to nominate your favourite. 
Entries close on 30th December. 


  1. She's impressive, intimidating and inspirational,I give you my nomination for the biggest troll, Aquila.

    She can kill with a word
    She can wound with a sentence
    She can ruin your soul with her casual jibes
    And she only defends what she chooses you see
    She stomps like a child
    Yes - she's a true troll to me

    She can drive you to drink
    She can oppose or ignore you
    She can ask you to retract
    But she'll never forgive
    She'll agree with your words as long as you're TB
    Yeah, she duels on and on
    And she's always a hussy to me

    Oh, she takes care of TB
    She wins all the time
    She's the best in the land
    Oh, and she's never wrong
    And she never concedes
    She simply clatters along

    1. A fine nomination. Likely to be a popular choice in this category

    2. Is that you again, Andrew?

  2. Don't think the Tex has a real Xmas-break.....
    She has another gig in the Algarve...... Hope no other children get lost in the confusing set-up

  3. I'd like to nominate the most feeble comeback award to Cristobell for returning to the fold a little to soon after her surgery.

  4. That seems a bit mean - I seem to recall she said she had a tooth out. No personal stuff please

  5. The "More Tinfoil, Matron" award for Spectacular Conspiralunacy


    Not such a Bennett ass licker under her other, past guises.

  6. Best performance for supportuping sock: Verdi

    Btw C did not disclose what op it was, certainly called it 'major surgery' don't mind if you don't publish but it is a fact and had no need of exaggerating it, morphine etc was mentioned.

    Verdi desrves the award for his uncanny and prompt support when needed, such as the Cold Fund/Trust.

    1. verdi is a she.

    2. No way is he a she.
      Not a TB sock either,IMO. Paid cheerleader/poetaster.
      Tony and Verdi do wear the same style of nightshirt IRL, though. 'Andrew' knows this.
      One could use 'sock' as a hybrid between 's_ck' and 'c_ck' - more a remora than a murderous Bundy white tube?

  7. These sex-changing socks ......who don't even have to correct minor spelling mistakes - all done by the Moderator who was incidentally correcting his own post just below... Brilliant service. Verdi would be hard put to name even one of his operas without the aid of Google. It all adds up imo.

    Some socks are a little too fast, such as the one who managed to read about 2000 word post in under two minutes and write a gushing comment as well. I've heard of speed-reading, but that's a record.

  8. IRCC 'Sophiebubbles' recently called TB a Great Theologian.

  9. The homophone of 'Hentie' : hentai.

  10. An anagram of 'Mark Willis' : ask, will rim.

  11. Many things come to mind as Cringeworthy however after careful pondering I'd like to nominate Tony Bennett's new avatar for this prestigious award.

    1. Would you like me to portray it inside a closet?

  12. Anagrammed 'Verdi' is rived - to be torn apart violently.


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