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Sunday, 12 July 2015

I'm swinging in the rain, just swinging in the rain.....

Morning all!

I am in the process of reviewing one of the Mad Cow's long rambling posts on ''Swinging'', but thought I would start with this, which is the nearest thing to a precis of her theory as exists. 

It appeared as part of a reply to a mauling she received and it's as good a place to start as any. So sit back and enjoy


''But there are many factors that made us think that the Maddie Affair revolves around the covering-up of an organised swinging event:

i) the fact there was a cover-up of the death of a 4 yr old girl and in which her parents participatedvery actively in a manner that has puzzled the world;
Okay, let's start there.
You cannot use ''fact'' when none has been established. You may believe there is a cover-up, but that does not mean you have established anything ''in fact''. Secondly, you cannot describe something as ''fact'' then in the next sentence claim it has ''puzzled the world''

Remember, these are supposedly your points in justification for a claim that a mass swinging event was ongoing. So point one translates as ''Because we think so''. 

And no evidence of swinging

ii) the fact that David Payne goes completely out of his way, on May 3rd around 18.15, to enter theTapas complex, walk all the way to the tennis courts to ask a friend, Gerry McCann, about his wife forno justifiable or justified reason and when the woman in question, Kate McCann,  wasn’t sick (had just jogged) and had not asked for any sort of help in tending to her children. Payne seeks this encounter when he’s on his way to play tennis so why make this detour? The oddity of this encounter is reinforced by the fact that there’s a glaring discrepancy between David Payne and Kate McCann about its duration andlocation (DP says he went into the apartment, Kate says he stayed outside). This whole encountersuggests strongly that the “friendliness” between these two individuals was, at the time, not exactlystandard;
Okay - there is no basis whatsoever for your claim that David Payne went ''completely out of his way'' or anything of that nature. The group returned to the Ocean Club because there was a men's tennis event scheduled; Gerry McCann was already there. There is no basis for the claim that Payne went to ask Gerry 'about his wife', or that Payne ''seeks out this encounter'' They both claim Gerry asked him to check on Kate.
The couples were friends. I can see nothing whatsoever to suggest that there was anything abnormal about this. There may well be questions about this incident, but nothing to suggest it supports the mad Textusa thesis of swinging 

iii) the fact the Tapas reservation sheets are absolute fakes (implicating the Ocean Club management), the fact the BRT never existed (meaning neither did the Tapas dinnersimplicating staff), the fact that guest names appear on the fake reservation sheets, some of which confirmedseeing the fictitious BRT (implicating said guests) and the fact that the Quiz Nights at Tapas are absurd(i'mplicating the Tapas Staff and Quiz Mistressall point very clearly to the involvement of both OC staff AND guests in the collective lie;
Okay, let's break that down
Your ''evidence'' for swinging appears to consist of your own fictitious claims.

YOU claimed the tapas sheets were faked.
YOU claimed the big round table never existed
YOU claimed the Tapas dinners never happened 
YOU claimed there was no quiz

The FACT that there was ample witness testimony to all of the above holed your barking mad theory below the waterline, so the only way out was to claim that all those people - guests, employees, management - had to be lying.

Let me try to explain something to you, Textusa.

If you have a theory and all the evidence points to that theory being wrong, then it probably is.

I know that's probably a big one to get your head around, but do try.

Again, even if this particular answer wasn't madder than Donald Trump's hairdresser, nothing about it  points towards swinging.


I'm a big round table. I don't exist, so the PdL guests were all shagging each other rigid



iv) the fact that the nature of the guests present was heterogenic (both economically and socially), some of them we are sure more used to bigger luxuries than those offered by the medium quality anddispersed Ocean Club, which presented most of its sleeping facilities a significant distance from both the beach and its main restaurant;
So you are saying that, in common with most holiday resorts, the clientele straddled a range of socio-economic strata? And?

Isn't this normally the case? Isn't this why there was a range of accommodation available? You had no access to the bank accounts or finances of any of these people, so how can you possibly determine what they were ''used to''?

Again, nothing whatsoever to point to swinging. 

I'm a bit strapped for cash, mate. I suppose a fuck is out of the question?


v) the fact that the only big attraction PdL has is the beach, not exactly a welcoming place in late April/early May. In Portugal the beaches only start being watched as of May 1st, so many guestsapparently were attracted to an unwatched freezing beach on the first days of their stay;
What a load of bollocks.
Average daytime temperatures for the Algarve in May = 18 degrees centigrade (range 14 - 25)
Hardly freezing. And the beaches were watched for most of the week.

So again, nothing to indicate swinging. 
Come on, love, it's fucking freezing. Let's go and shag the couple in No.4


vi) the fact there was an excessive amount of supporting staff for a resort the size and quality of OC and especially for that time of the year, namely nanniesSeasonal hiring is made forJune/July/August/September not April/May. Strangely enough, the nannies stopped being requiredtowards the high season. These professionals, in our opinion, were destined to take care of the swingers’ children while they were entertaining themselves, away from them, obviously;
This is one of the most hilarious claims of all.
You have no idea what the staffing levels were by comparison with previous years and other resorts. You have simply made the claim and your simpering baboons have gone along with you. As regards the number of nannies, there are regulations with respect to carer/child ratios. Now if you could have produced an advert which said ''Hiring early for the shagging season'' that would have been different.
But you didn't. 

So, nothing to support swinging
Okay, well you bring up another hundredweight of lube, Doris, and the minute they pause for breath we'll nip in and change the sheets


vii) the fact that the owners of the Ocean Club were very well connected politically and hadconsiderable PR resources to call upon, quoting Research_Reader, but acted, like we said, contrary to their own interests;
They had, as do most large organisations, PR and Risk Management professionals on whom they could call. That's it. That is simply a normal practice for businesses everywhere. I can see nothing to suggest that they acted contrary to their own best interests 

Once again, nothing to support swinging.

viii) the fact that an ex-PatMrs Fenn, is inconsistent about hearing a child cry for 75 minutes when other guests, the Moyes, hear the T9 at Tapas and say all is otherwise quiet and the T9, according to themselves, checked regularly on the children and heard nothing. The only person confirming thiscrying episode is Maddie herself, according to her mother who is not the most trustworthy of people. This crying episode, in our opinion, implicates Mrs Fenn;
Mrs Fenn is in no way inconsistent.

You have no idea what other guests heard or didn't. There are no statements by the Moyes in the files, and nothing to suggest Mrs Fenn is wrong.

You are using the T9 checks, which you say never happened, to cast doubt on Mrs Fenn?????
So how does Mrs Fenn hearing the crying implicate her in swinging?!

Again, nothing whatsoever to support swinging

ix) the fact that Mrs Fenn says she sees the McCanns on the terrace on the night Maddie disappearedwhen she is unable to see said terrace:
Of course she can see the terrace - what are you, nuts?

Even if she couldn't, which would have to mean she was blind, how is this evidence of swinging?

It isn't.

x) the fact that Mrs Fenn, the upstairs neighbour, only comes forward to say what she has allegedly seen3 and half months after events and when she does she puts on a show (denounced by the supermarket bags) for a SIC filming crew;
That is not the case. It is quite evident Mrs Fenn and her family contacted the police promptly, but it was some while before a full, formal statement was taken.

She does not ''put on a show'' for a film crew. They doorstepped her.

Denounced by the supermarket bags ????!!

Don't you just hate that? I was once denounced by an Aldi freezer bag. Bastard.

Nothing whatsoever to suggest swinging 

She would have got away with it if it wasn't for that pesky carrier bag 


xi) the fact that there’s a picture of the Tapas complex said to be taken 2 floors above apartment 5Awhen it’s very clear it could only have been taken from the apartment Mrs Fenn says she lived in and was even photographed in (please note that about Mrs Fenn there are other details that we haven’t published yet);
Well unless you can show that it was taken by one resident whilst they were hanging out of the back of another, I think we have to assume this is not evidence of swinging 

xii) the fact that ex-Pats, namely Derek Flack and TS have lied about seeing Pimpleman and so have participated actively in the cover-up;
No - you CLAIMED they were lying. Which was of course total bollocks and based on some load of old wank about where the bus stop was

No evidence of swinging.

xiii) the fact that a guest, JW, also corroborates the existence of the fictitious Pimpleman who was brought to life in 2009, was never found and no one has been looking for him since;
So a guest corroborates the testimony of two others. Most normal people would think that strengthens their evidence, but you're not normal.

No evidence of swinging.

xiv) the fact that a statement from an ex-PatDerek Flack (a man apparently with serious memory problems but amazingly remembers a white van he sees fleetingly) ties strangely very nicely with the one given by Gerry McCann concerning a guitarman who, by sheer coincidence, owned a white van;
There is no indication he has serious memory problems, unlike you.
So the fact that two people may have seen the same van is what - evidence of swinging?

Er, no.

xv) the fact that Derek Flack says he isn’t seen by Pimpleman when if this were to happen thenPimpleman wouldn’t be looking at apartment 5A but straight up the street;
And?
No evidence of swinging 

xvi) the fact that some tourist resorts worldwide, like Pontinspromote swinging events to compensatetheir low seasons and end of Aprilearly May is low season in Portugal;
Do they? 

So you are suggesting that other resorts actually advertised swinging events, yes?
Did the Ocean Club? No?

Then no evidence of swinging. 

The fact that it was low season is not evidence of anything.

Hey love, it's low season. Fancy popping round and shagging the neighbours?


xvii) the fact that the Ocean Club wasn’t exactly a profitable enterprise as per the JH thread Would this account for the unprecedented high-level of political support”;
How do you know it wasn't profitable?

No evidence of swinging

xviii) the fact that theres only ONE known thing in common between all these people referred to (T9,Ocean Club Staffguests and ex-Pats): they were in PdL during the time of the events. Otherwise it’s really only a large heterogenous group with no apparent connection to each other;
That's what happens on holiday, moron.

No evidence of swinging 

xix) all of the above points clearly show that all the people referred to acted collectively when it came to Maddie Affair. They all participated in the cover-up.
What a load of utter garbage. You have literally established nothing. Nothing at all. No evidence of people acting collectively, no evidence of a conspiracy, no evidence of a cover-up. And moreover, no evidence of swinging.

Laughably, you even try to justify a disbelief in one event - Mrs Fenn hearing a crying child - by claiming the T9 heard nothing, despite having already claimed that the T9 weren't there because there ''were no Tapas dinners''!

These are just some of many factors which have led us to conclude that the only unifying factor that could bind all together and the only thing that could plausibly explain the motivation and involvementof so many present in PdL in a cover-up would be something that if known publicly would bring upon them a very significant and harming social stigma.

Some of the many factors, eh?

Well, so far it's all been pants. So what are the other ''factors''?

You claim that all these people conspired to ''cover-up'' the disappearance and probable death of a young child, because they feared something worse......

Something sexual in nature: a swinging event in the Ocean Club.
Okay. So despite the fact, as you have amply demonstrated, that there is no evidence of swinging, you hypothesise that it must have happened because all these people were afraid of being harmed by the ''revelation''

So to cover up the swinging, they conspired to cover up a death. 

Note that nowhere have we ever used the word “illegal”.

No, but I am going to. Swinging is not illegal.

Please explain why people would conspire together to cover up an unlawful act, for fear of exposure for committing a totally lawful one


Jeremy was mortified that he had farted in public. There was only one way to hide his shame....

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