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Monday, 14 April 2014

Let's swing again, like we didn't last summer......

I always meant to return to a particular post by her loonyness, but was somehow sidetracked or lost the will to live or something - so better late than never, let's return to a post laughingly entitled ''Swinging Evidence''
 
Before we go any further, let me say that the most comprehensive and accurate description of the ''Swinging Evidence'' in this case would be a big piece of paper with Fuck All written on it, but for the sake of it, let's see what the mad old cow came up with, shall we?
 
 
The following are, according to Textusa, ''5 things that indicate strongly that there was swinging in the Ocean Club in Praia da Luz:''
 
(Please try not to laugh until the end)
 
1) The Adult Pool
 
2) DNA from kid's room
 
3) Semen Stain
 
4) The Blond Man
 
5) The Visit.
 
 
Okay - those are the factors upon which she bases the rest of her lunatic theories. So don't laugh, we ought to pause for a moment out of respect for the rapier-sharp mind that has cut through this case to get to what's really important. There will now be a moment's silence, of a length commensurate with the importance and value of Textusa's work in this field.
 
*Pauses for 0.00000005 seconds*
 
Right, that's quite enough of that - where were we?
 
 
Oh yes
 
The Adult Pool
 
Apparently it doesn't get mentioned much. Therefore it's proof of swinging.
 
I'm really not going to give this preposterous and meaningless suggestion any further consideration than that. It's a non sequitur of global proportions.
 
 

DNA from the kid's room
 
According to Textusa:
 
''The DNA found in this room was too little when compared with what was expected to be collected''
 ''In terms of what was expected to be found versus what was collected one could say that room was “forensically aseptic”. The room was subject to an exaggerated cleaning.
The forensic evidence collected was way too scarce and that’s a fact.''
Nonsense .
These statements display a total lack of understanding of DNA, of crime scene processing and of basic science
 
The room was processed in line with accepted protocols - UV light sources used to look for body fluids, special chemicals  sprayed on surfaces to reveal the presence of biological residues, hair and fibres identified and collected - all absolutely normal.  She claims there was too little DNA yet provides no evidence to back this up
 
The room was NOT subjected to ''exaggerated cleaning'' - in fact, the evidence points at precisely the opposite, with ample hair and fibres collected and no 'void' spaces identified.
 
So for her to have the bare-faced cheek to say
''The forensic evidence collected was way too scarce and that’s a fact.''
...is just a bare-faced lie. Simple as that.  She really should not use terminology she does not understand.


Semen Stain
 
This is the easiest one to deal with
Textusa knows this is a lie. She knows because I have explained this to her many times. She quotes from John Lowe's report which clearly states that the sample was a match to a baby boy and was not semen, but saliva. She is not so stupid that she can't understand this, she simply prefers to deceive the more suggestible of her readers. Of course, despite the fact that she claims she will always correct something she gets wrong, she won't. As illustrated by the fact that I corrected her but the post remains uncorrected.
 
The Blond Man
 
A neighbour saw a blond man leave a holiday apartment in the middle of the afternoon. And she says that's proof of swinging. We don't know who the man was, or what he was doing. But obviously the presence of a man means he must have just come from shagging some bit on the side, Obvious really. Don't know how the police can have missed that
 
The Visit
 
David Payne called at the McCann's flat. That's it. Proof indeed. Two people, known to each other, on holiday together, were briefly in the same apartment. And that's Textusa's proof
 
So, in summary, Textusa's evidence for swinging is as follows
 
1) An empty pool
2) A perfectly normal children's bedroom
3) Some baby spit
4) A Boris Becker tribute act
and
5) A friend popping around to say Hi.
 
 
Does Oscar Pistorius know you're available, Textusa? Because if you can spin that load of bullshit into a ''Swinger's Paradise'' you might be able to help him with his defence, which is going down faster than Nigel Evans at a Grindr Meet&Greet
 
 

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