''I think that is the fundamental of all questions. If it's proved that ONE dinner did not take place at Tapas, as I agree none did, then its proved the involvement of the resort and guests. I even think that the reconstruction that has to be done should be centered on these dinners. It would be easy as all is written down. Anyone who has a statement about the dinners should be provided with their statement to be used not only to refresh memories as a script. Who took the reservations should show where she sat to write down the guest's name and where did the queue stand. The waiters should reproduce, holding their statements, what they served, when and to who. Also explain what they used to put the food in the take-aways and this be confirmed by the clients that used this service. The Quiz Mistress should set up things the way they were set. What sound system she used, or not, and how were the contestants split up. The T9 should reconstruct, holding their various statements, the comings and goings of the evenings they detailed. Lastly, the Ocean Club should show the table where the T9 sat. Have they thrown it away? Get another from where they got that one! Was it an exclusive? Have one made up. Then put it inside the canopy and place 9 chairs around it and start the reconstruction!''
This is that post.
Sadly, we will never know the identity of the utter cretin who penned the above as they, unsurprisingly, chose to remain anonymous. However, I do think they deserve recognition, so we shall call them Ms A Fuckwit.
To pick out a few highlights from A Fuckwit's post, I was particularly impressed with this:
The waiters should reproduce, holding their statements, what they served, when and to who. Also explain what they used to put the food in the take-aways and this be confirmed by the clients that used this service
Absolutely! Nothing finds an abductor quicker than an in depth understanding of what everyone had for dinner!
And this deserves a special mention too:
The Quiz Mistress should set up things the way they were set. What sound system she used, or not, and how were the contestants split up.Again, this is vital! Identifying the one person who knew the capital of Albania* might just blow the whole case wide open!
So I would like to thank our learned friend for pointing the way, your input has been ............unique.
And even if you prefer to remain anonymous you will remain to us, now and for always, A Fuckwit. We salute you.
PS . For anyone who is still thinking ''What the fuck.........'' let me remind you that the proposal made by A Fuckwit was that the reconstruction should be in the nost exquisite detail imaginable despite the fact that she was absolutely convinced that the dinners had not, in fact, happened. God help us all......