Sunday, 9 March 2014

Mad Cow disease

Clearly driven over the edge by the news that some of her disciples have had enough, Textusa is going all out to capture the stupid end of the market. 

Her latest brain fart has Textusa examining a photo of the Tapas restaurant after it's later conversion to a pizza restaurant.

Horror of horrors - the Big Round Table has disappeared from the spot it occupied in 2007. 

Oh Noes! Sacre Bleu! Merde!

Have you called Interpol?

Because when you do I would just love to listen in.

''Hello officer? Yes, I would like to report the disappearance of a table, it's very suspicious. Hello? Hello? .....''

It was a table, you demented dingbat. Not the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Not the final resting place of Kings. Not a hallowed spot from whence flowed a Holy Spring.

It was just a fucking table. Occupying several square feet of space in an averagely-priced restaurant. An ideal device for raising food off the floor. Just a pissing, sodding table. 

It did not have listed building status. It was not a scheduled ancient monument. It was deliberately mobile as restaurants have this funny tradition of moving tables sometimes, and an even funnier one of needing to clean underneath them occasionally.

I don't know what the correct treatment is for someone who believes this table should have remained, unchanging, in exactly the same spot for seven years, surviving feast, flood, famine, de-tapasing and rebirth as a pizza restaurant, surrounded presumably by a forcefield rendering it impervious to all attempts to move it, but I suspect they need locking up for their own safety.


  1. "... the posts she doesn't want you to see " - you are quite correct, I sent a comment two or three days ago which she didn't publish. I wonder just how many times that happens, in order to create the impression that the comments she receives are overwhelmingly positive. Who is she trying to kid?

  2. From what I am hearing, it happens a lot. It seems she is not very happy if people disagree with her.


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