Saturday, 16 February 2019


Evening all,

I posted this next door, but the cock-faced maggot has declined to publish it....

You can either publish this here, or it will go up on my blog - your choice.
You might be able to convince your more stupid fans, the Carlas and Debbies of this world that I am who you claim I am. Fortunately, most people are not as dumb as a sponge, so they know you are talking out of your arse.
Give it up, Mario/Maria, whatever you are calling yourself this week, you dumb fuck. As you well know, I am not Wright, I am not Walker, I am not anyone you think I am. Grow up, stop following people around Twitter and get a fucking life

 ...even though I did ask nicely.

Saturday, 9 February 2019

Midwinter Madness

Textusa and his sisters, dressed down for an evening of Scrabble and absinthe

Evening all,

We here at Not Textusa appreciate that as the BRT debate enters it's 9th year, it can be difficult to determine if what you are looking at is a BRT or not.

Therefore, we have sourced this helpful guide. Happy hunting.

Tuesday, 29 January 2019

A very very brief moment in time.

Morning folks

Textusa was stunned to receive his grade for his thesis "What I learned from photographs"

Some of you may have been wondering why I haven't commented on a Textusa post for a while. Well, there are several reasons why, but primarily it is because I am not interested in copying over posts which consist of nothing more than tweets by other people which Textusa has grabbed regardless of instructions not to, and lists of posts he asks his readers to ''revisit'', presumably when they next have a month off recovering from a hip replacement, or when their will to live has deserted them completely.

However, I do think it is worth making a general comment on the fondness he has developed for drawing ludicrous conclusions from still photographs, because that really has plumbed new depths of fuckwittery. 

So let's talk about that instead.

The photos he appears fixated with include ones taken of the Tapas area and ones taken, at a height, of the beach. These appear to have been taken by professional photographers.

Advanced digital cameras of the type preferred by most professionals typically employ a shutter speed of 1/4,000th or 1/8,000th of a second - this is the time during which the image sensor is exposed to light and in other words it is the total time that the image captures.

So let's use the lower figure for our calculations

Let's say people started to gather on the beach from 8am and the beach emptied from around 8pm, as the light started to fail. That's 12 hours during which one would expect people to be milling about on the beach.

A single image captures 1/172,800,000th of that day.
As do the images supposedly showing ''no searching'' going on
As do the images showing less activity than Textusa's shrivelled brain thinks should be happening

This is not a difficult concept to get one's head around. Children can understand this. 

Textusa can't understand this

But the beach is practically deserted, taking into account the number of tourists said to be in Luz in the week Maddie disappeared. Note, we are not saying that there weren’t hundreds of tourists in Praia da Luz, we are simply saying that it is a hoax saying that they were there to enjoy the beach. The May 4 images show clearly that was not the case, as was not still the case 10 days later, on May 13.
Now - pardon me for being sarcastic, but saying that people came to enjoy the beach is a statement. One can argue the veracity of the statement although god knows why one would - it's hardly studded with old tyres and dog shit - but it cannot possibly be described as a hoax, except in Textusa's lunatic head and the equally deranged heads of his dimwitted, doolally followers. 

Just as the entirety of the McCann's dining arrangements that week, confirmed by dozens of witnesses, cannot be cancelled out by the fact that Textusa has not personally given his seal of approval to a picture of the table they dined at, the accounts of even more people are not cancelled out because Textusa cannot understand that he is looking at 1/172,800,000th of that day.

Textusa wasn't having it - the Moon wasn't deserted; all those Clangers were hiding away, shagging each other and the Soup Dragon

This inability to think inside the box, never mind outside of it, is further illustrated here

So, what does this picture bring new and important to the case? What is the reason we asked the Frog what was that the picture showed and shouldn’t have? 

The answer is simple: water sports equipment. 
Of course it is. Silly me. 

Where are the various water sports equipment? 
Probably locked away somewhere to prevent anyone putting to sea to dispose of a corpse 

Where are the boats that Matt and Russ were supposed to have sailed in the previous afternoon? Where is the equipment to take the Mark Warner kids to the water that is said to have existed on the beach that morning? 
Not in shot. I'm sorry if this is difficult for you to understand.  

Shouldn’t they be near the water and very visible if they had been used during the week and on the previous day? They should but aren’t.
How near the water would you like them to be? I don't know if you've heard of a thing called ''tides''? Oh it's amazing - the sea comes in, the sea goes out, been happening for billions of years, well worth a look if you've never seen it 

Nor is any equipment seen in the water...
We are back to that tides thing again, aren't we? 

Textusa was livid - all this gravitational pull nonsense was playing havoc with his arrows

Fascinating, isn’t it?

Seriously, how on earth does he get people to buy into this? Do they all lack totally the ability to assess evidence with any kind of normal thinking? None of them must ever do jury duty - they should immediately reveal to the court that they are completely fucked in the head and cannot be trusted. Just show them one of his posts, that should do the trick. 

Tuesday, 4 December 2018


Morning all

NT - No Timewasters, is now live, link on the previous post. If you are interested in becoming a reader (not you, Textusa) then please either email me (email address at the top of the page) or send a Do Not Publish comment on this page.


Wednesday, 28 November 2018

Attention-seeking missile

I debated for a while over whether to even respond to this, but I think it has gone far enough.

As you may have seen, Textusa has posted a claim that a daughter of one of his ''team'' was followed home from school and that the incident was reported to the police.

I'm sure it was very distressing for her and clearly reporting it to the police was the right thing to do.

Allowing Textusa to use it for his own ends is, however, NOT the right thing to do.

For idiots like Carla Spade to be making her usual allegations on Twitter is a very silly thing to do. It's also rather hypocritical - she is squealing like a stuck pig at her own details being revealed, yet thinks nothing of falsely claiming that I am Walker and Wright; something she has been doing for over a year.

So bugger off ladies - and Textusa. I have no time for people who would exploit the distress of their own children for the sake of point scoring.

Sad, sad wankers.


Incidentally, Carla, Textusa used your full name on numerous occasions, as on here

Perhaps you should direct your impotent rage at him?

Sunday, 11 November 2018

Not Important.

Evening all!

I know I shouldn't, but I just had to bring you this, fresh from the poison pen of Mr/s Textabuser

I suspect someone is off their meds again.

Oh, Orlov (now Hall), you seem to think that we included you when we mentioned the distracting attacks against us. If that is the case, our apologies.
No need to apologise, Looney Toons 

You have no importance whatsoever. Please understand that and understand that we’re not doing this to belittle you. That, you do a nice job by your infantile self.
Oooh, how hurtful! 

For the case, and that is what matters, it has to be noted the importance you have, which is, we repeat, none.
So, no importance then. Okay. 

You were just a tool that we used to out Mr Thompson. Then, we were quite clear and stressed that fact, that you had absolutely no importance whatsoever.
I get it, no importance. 

That is important because if you had any importance whatsoever, the storm Mr Thompson created in a glass of water because of you would have a reason. As you really have no importance whatsoever, everyone could see that he used his friendship over you to try to get to us, his hysteria being transparently disproportionate.
Dave was inconsolable. 

Okay, already. No importance. We get it. Calm down, dear, your hysteria is showing and I have to say, it's a bit disproportionate, transparent or otherwise. 

So, as you can see, you having the no importance you have is really important to the case. We can’t stress that more.
So, you're saying he has no importance, amiright?

You are a simple supplier of spittle for the lick-spittles. Nothing more.
How very dare you. We lickspittlers use only the finest quality spittle, milked fresh daily from the rare Dontgiveafuck tribe in Western Samoa, and flown in by executive jet. We demand a retraction. 

Joyously, the lickspittlers ran to meet the jet delivering their latest consignment

Now that Mr Thompson is going to spend his Christmases (to keep on topic) with his new BFF, NT, and no longer with you
Well, that's my Christmas plans sorted - leg, wing or breast, Ben? 

Oh hang on - we're having beef........ 
(basing this solely on the passionate friendship Mr Thompson showed to have for you)
You slut, Ben. How could you? 
you might now consider spending them with your new BFF, Jules.
You can't have her. Isn't that right, Jules? 

There was always a good spread at the Ancient Order of Lickspittlers Christmas banquet, served on big round tables complete with tablecloths and placemats. In 547 years, a table had never collapsed

A person you publicly so much respect, endorse and love and seem so willing to overlook all her untruths and her close friendship with a clear abduction apologist, Frog.
Many human/amphibian relationships are very special, Text. Don't knock it until you've tried it 
Frankly, Jules had heard enough of Textusa's Amphibihate. Frogs were people too. 

You do make a lovely couple and after all, why care about a dead little girl when one can try to be funny and win the ladies over?
Ah, the Madeleine equivalent of Godwin's Law! It was bound to appear. 
(You probably won't understand that, Text. Ask a grown up to explain it for you) 

The only surprising thing about you is your indignation when someone calls you a pro. Where’s the surprise?

Probably stems from the fact that he isn't one.

Textusa, I really would suggest you calm the fuck down. At some point you will have to accept that most people think you are completely bonkers, that you suffer from an intractable table fixation, and that your mental health is failing quicker than a Post-Brexit trade deal.

Get some help, sweetie.  

After dinner, the Ancient Order of Lickspittlers would dance the night away on an inadequate esplanade.

Thursday, 8 November 2018

Big. Round. Fucking. Table.

Enough of this nonsense

If you can put this on full screen, watch it, yet still say it does not clearly show a big round fucking table then you need:

1. Specsavers
2. A psychiatrist.
3. To be sectioned.

I am not even going to bother going through the fucking IKEA catalogue of tables Sextabusa has assembled because it amounts to no more than trolling and I am fairly sure s/he is wanking away to the attention like a bored chimp.

Don't bother leaving comments saying "..but it's Brunt!!" because the answer will be "So fucking what?"

Grow the fuck up, Bruce, you utter gobshite. Just because you managed to get three people, all of whom are too stupid to pull their own knickers up without a diagram, to believe this cobblers doesn't mean that you have any chance with anyone in full possession of their faculties.

And now here are some cats jumping in the air. Enjoy